In fact, all my red marks and "See me" notes relate to the story campaign Mary Jane is far from the worst of it when it comes to taking away from the superhero action. It's nothing personal, Mary Jane it's just, have you noticed the title of the game you're in? If I play a game called " Sergeant Flashybollocks", it's because I want to spend time only in the company of the most luminescent of testicles stop insisting on getting presents when it isn't your birthday party. Oh, they gave Mary Jane an instant-takedown stun gun this time, but that just made me wonder why the hell the Spider-Mans have to punch a dude fifteen times to get the same result. Spider-Man 2 is, therefore, officially a game I wanted to play when I had no obligation to do so let that be the thing you take away after I've finished spending the next few paragraphs picking at it like it's a stubborn price sticker on a new piece of expensive electronics.Īs I said, after Spider-Man 1, there are many ways they could have fucked it up one fuckup, for example, would've been to not remove the bits where you have to play as Mary-Jane in mandatory stealth sections, and that opportunity whisked straight past Spider-Man 2 like a short-sighted territorial magpie. But I eventually concluded that I wanted to play more Spider-Man 2 I wanted to spend a few hours swinging about the city, punching crime in the teeth. I had Saturday afternoon off, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to play you know how a sitcom wife can look at a pile of clothes the exact shape and proportions of a dead humpback whale and announce they haven't got a thing to wear? That's me with my video game collection. Let me summarize my broad feelings about Spider-Men with an anecdote. So that's fine in fact, it's mostly fine. But thankfully, it never replaces web-swinging, merely gives you an option when you run out of buildings besides taking a great big mouthful of pavement panini, and there's still enough skill involved to make it interesting. I really thought I was going to hate the new wingsuit in theory, anything that takes away from the web-swinging in Spider-Man game traversal is like focusing on the complementary sausage rolls at an artisanal bacon festival. Now, Spider-Man 1 being a perfectly decent, if somewhat cluttered game, Spider-Man Part Deux was in the awkward position of having very little to improve upon and an awful lot of things it could fuck up. "Anything to declare, besides the international terrorist militia, fleet of invisible attack planes, and pack of robot wolves?" Silly question to ask in superhero storytelling, I know might as well ask why there's no OSHA compliance preventing the inevitable burning building or exploding rollercoaster at precisely the moment where it would be very humiliating for Peter or Miles to have to declare a sudden diarrhea emergency and run off. I just wonder why no one in authority is opposing Kraven at all hell, the flipping TSA should've raised the alarm as he was coming through customs. Serious question: does New York City even have a police force? I remember them showing up once or twice at the ends of missions to arrest people, so I assume they're all waiting around the corner, going, "Give it ten minutes Spider-Man hasn't had a personal epiphany yet." I jest, of course there's also the fact that Peter continues to resemble a buff dude from the neck down and a twelve-year-old with an inexpensive barber from the neck up.Īnd while he takes pains to hide his super identity from those close to him, Miles basically blabs it to anyone he goes on a second Tinder date with not that it matters that much, since all the established villains seem to have gone straight at the outset of 2 Spider-Mans, but trouble arises when Kraven the Hunter shows up with an army of fanatics and basically occupies the city to mount a campaign of springing supervillains and challenging them to fights to the death. This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Marvel's Spider-Man 2.įinally, we get to Spider-Man 2, or to give the more accurate title, 2 Spider-Mans, 'cos this time, we get to switch between playing as Peter Parker and Miles Morales, and can appreciate the stark contrast between the two: Peter is an awkward nerd with superpowers who struggles with balancing his personal life and his desire to fight crime while dressed like an extreme sports techno-gimp, whereas Miles is an awkward nerd with superpowers who struggles with balancing his personal life and his desire to fight crime while dressed like an extreme sports techno-gimp, and is black.
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